


Please Don’t Leave Me

by rgrace94



Category: Holby City
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, Letters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-12 00:09:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15983423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rgrace94/pseuds/rgrace94
Summary: Set after Jac’s collapse in Bygone





	1. No time but the present

Fletch's POV:

All I could see in my head was that bottle of water, dripping to the ground feeling like it was in slow motion. Frozen in panic when I saw her legs behind the desk. I thought she was dead. Why did I say those things to her, what if I don't get the chance to take them back. 

I just stood at the door to ITU when I heard a door behind me close, Gaskell. This is all his fault if he hadn't have persuaded her to have that surgery she'd be fine. Without thinking I turned on my heels and followed him to the corridor.

"It's all your fault. With your stupid little project. I knew the surgery wasn't safe, I warned her but you managed to weasel your way in. The mighty Professor Gaskell." By this point I had him by his collar up against the wall, fully showing him my anger in every word. 

"If she doesn't come out of this alive your neck is on the line. I know your procedure isn't safe, I can see in Essie's eyes she left for a reason and Dr Choudry. I'm onto you." Letting go and pushing his back into the wall before returning to Jac's bedside. 

Pulling a chair to her side and holding onto her limp, lifeless hand I needed to tell her all the things I had been meaning to. First I needed to apologise, for what I said before in the office. I didn't mean any of it. She's a great mum, she does all she can and as for her family it was their loss. They abandoned her, I'm not going to do that now. No way. 

Its hard to put into words what Jac means to me, its going to take more than a few. But what if she can't hear me, what if she will never hear me say these things. In that moment I decided that each day I will sit by her side and tell her one story. One story on how she makes my life better. One story on how I will be there for her and want to be there for her. I will write them down and save them so if she doesn't hear them now she can in time, when she wakes. 

Well no time but the present, here it goes...


	2. Day 1

Fletch's POV:  
Where do I start. We've been through so much. I guess I should start with sorry. Here it goes;

Jac,  
What I said about you not having a family, none of that is your fault and I shouldn't have said it. It was you who was abandoned. You left to pick up the pieces of your life, just look what you have become. Leading Cardiothoracic surgeon. A wonderful Mum to Emma. You open up to me, it may have taken a while but you still are. That's why I'm not going to leave your side. I'll be here everyday holding your hand and wishing you will wake up. We are your family; me, Sasha, Frieda. We all care for you. So please wake up because I need you the most, I don't know what I'd do without my daily dose of Naylor sarcasm.   
Fletch 

I read out to her the letter before placing it on the side table in a little envelope. I stayed sat there for a while just holding her hand in mine, silently waiting for some sign she was still there. But nothing. I noticed the time and left to get the kids from the crèche, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead before I left.   
"I'll be back tomorrow. Wait for me."   
Walking out the door hoping for a miracle. 

Jac's POV:  
Where am I. What is this. I'm awake but all I can see is darkness. Wait I hear something, a voice I recognise clearly. Fletch. I feel a hand reach down at mine, I try to squeeze my hand back but nothing. It's as if I'm paralysed. I can hear the hurt in his voice, worry. Suddenly I feel a soft kiss placed on my head before hearing him say 'wait for me'. I'm trying to shout out but nothing. I'm trying to call him back but nothing. I reside myself to the darkness, I'll try again later. I'm not giving up.


	3. Day 2

Jac's POV:  
Being here is so dark and lonely. Sasha has come to visit, otherwise just doctors and nurses scattering around. Gives me a lot of time to think. Oh I hear a door open, footsteps reaching my bedside and pulling a chair over. A warm hand clutching onto mine. He didn't have to say a thing, I knew it was Fletch. 

Fletch's POV:  
I walked in dragging a chair to her side and placed her hand in mine. It fit perfectly, as I played silently with her fingers.   
"So Darwin is fine, me and Nicky are managing to keep everything afloat. Sasha said that they may try and bring you out of the coma tomorrow. I'll be there with you every step of the way."

Jac,   
I can't lie, that first day I met you I was terrified. You had this reputation of toughness, a hard shell that couldn't be broken. From that day I said to myself, I will break down those walls. I have broken down those walls. The day that I knew that you were my friend was the day we sat in your office and you broke down in front of me, I just held you as you finally let out your pent up emotions. That moment I knew I wanted to be there for you. I wanted to help you. We sat and talked, you opened up. I want to get to know you more Jac. I want you to know me more.   
We started off as complete strangers working in different parts of the hospital never crossing paths. Now I see you everyday and that makes my day better. I hope it also makes yours better too. We went from being nobody to each other to a somebody, to friends.   
Now wake up because I need my friend back.   
Fletch

I swear I felt her hand move slightly. Probably all in my imagination. I stood, placed the letter in the envelope, kissed her forehead and left hoping tomorrow she would wake.


	4. Day 3

Today's the day, time to see if she is ready. The sepsis is resolving, her kidneys are working, maybe she will wake. I walk into the ICU to see Sacha sat with Jac. He's holding a picture that I can only assume Emma drew saying 'get better soon Mummy' in crayon.   
He notices me walking in and stands to greet me.   
"Fletch, I was hoping you would be here. They have reduced her sedation to see if she will wake up."  
I walked over sitting on the edge of her bed picking up her hand, placing it in mine.   
"Come on Jac. Wake up, we all miss you." That time I felt it, her hand moved. I jumped up from my place.  
"Sacha her hand moved, she heard me."   
I sat again my hand cupping her cheek, brushing a stray piece of hair from her face.   
"Please, it's Fletch. Open your eyes for me." Just as I said it her eyes opened slightly. She looked directly at me.   
It was too good to be true as the monitors began blaring and she started seizing. I felt useless, I froze still as everyone rushed in to stabilise her.   
"Jac! Jac don't do this. I need you."  
As Sacha pulled me out of the room, I dropped to the floor. My legs couldn't carry me anymore. I'm going to lose her. That's when it swept over me, sheer panic. I couldn't breathe, my chest went tight.   
"Fletch breathe!" I could hear Sacha yelling at me. "Just breathe."   
I couldn't stop the tears falling,  helplessly sobbing into Sasha.   
"I can't live without her. I love her Sasha. I love her and she doesn't even know it." He held me tighter as the anaesthetist came out.   
"It was too soon, she's back under sedation. We will try again next week. She needs more time." He said before walking off. I felt a sigh of relief. She's alive. I stood up looking through the ICU doors.   
"She knows how you feel you know. Honestly she feels the same, she just doesn't know how to tell you." Placing his gentle giant hand on my shoulder.   
"Be with her. Tell her." He said before walking off down the corridor silently.  
Pushing the door open I could hear the sound of machines quietly beeping along, softly telling me she was still there. I sat back placing her hand in my lap softly playing with her fingers. Her hand so soft and delicate.   
"Don't scare me like that again."  
I stayed in silence for a while, the got out my pen for me next note. 

Jac, 

Yesterday I said about you being my friend. Truthfully I don't want you to be my friend, I want more. If today has shown me anything its shocked me into how much I need you. I thought you were going to die and everything between us flashed before my eyes. The almost moments where all I wanted to do was reach out and kiss you. The times Raf told me that I fancied you, which I always denied. The lunch dates and coffee sit downs in your office. I've tried to deny my feelings as you'd never feel the same. I'm just a nurse with a crush. You'd never love me back. But that's the truth Naylor. I love you. I just wish you'd love me back. Just wake up so you can tell me I'm an idiot or slap me of tell me I'm wrong. Anything. 

Fletch 

I read it out to her placing it with the others. I followed the same routine as I had the days before, placing a kiss on her forehead and leaving ready to come back the next day. As long as it takes.

Jac's POV:  
Fletch please I'm trying, honestly I am. I thought I could do it. Do you mean what you just said, you love me? You are too good for me Fletcher.


End file.
